This one comes from Danielle Wilson:

Ollie, this is the story of the day you were born.

I woke up to a crash of thunder. It was windy and rainy and stormy outside. Pow! Lightening.

And then “oh”…pain in my belly. It took me a few sleepy minutes to realize that it was actually a dull achy tightening in my abdomen that had woken me up and not the thunder after all. I sat for a few minutes, warm in my bed and wondered if I would meet you this stormy night.

After a solid month of fairly regular contractions every day, I didn’t dare believe this could be it.

And then “OH”…pain again.

I nudged your dad. “Trav…I think I might be in labor.” He’d heard this from me more than a few times in the recent weeks. “I think we should probably get up and get our stuff together.”

“It’s 2:30 am”. Was his reply. He was tired. We were both tired. The months before your birth were not as we would wish– calm and relaxing, but rather harried and busy. We’d spent that day scrubbing the carpets and unpacking boxes. Trying to ready our home for your arrival, and feeling way behind schedule.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m pretty sure.”

I told dad I was going to get in the bath and see what happened. I wanted to make sure this was really it before I started waking people up. I soaked in a warm tub and grinned with each contraction…I would meet you soon! By the time I got out of the tub, I was sure about that.

I came back to our room to find that dad had gone back to sleep.

“Uh Trav? Um…I think we need to get going.”

“Oh…I thought you weren’t sure.”

“I’m sure.”

Dad popped out of bed, and started hurrying around grabbing stuff and asking me questions. I felt really calm and excited. I think he was a little nervous. I felt like time was slowing down a little bit…I thought about you and breathed through each contraction and then carried on the way.

We gathered up your sister and snuggled her in the car. Off we went into the night. It was raining hard and I was in labor!

I had really wanted to know what it was like to go into labor. With Avery, I had to be induced and though I couldn’t really imagine being any more satisfied by the birth of my child, there was part of me that wanted the experience of going into labor…of having that moment…or moments really.

As we drove down the now snowy highway I was impressed with how normal it all felt. It wasn’t some big crazy movie moment. I felt totally normal and calm. And ready.

I called my midwife and laughed when she said, “So you think your in labor”. I was pretty certain.

We firmed up my birth plans and I told her that I’d like to use the birthing tub. She told me they’d start filling it up and then called back a few minuted later to find out how tall I was, because apparently another woman wanted a birth tub also and they only had 2, and one was a bit smaller. Luckily I beat her by an inch and got the bigger tub.

We arrived at the hospital at 4 am and there was a furry of activity in my room. In fact, when I first walked in nobody even noticed I was there. They were all trying to figure out how to get the tub inflated. Using a birthing tub in the hospital was a new thing, and they had never actually had to set one up for real use yet. I felt a tad special, and then felt the need to keep thanking them for the effort.

Aunt Emily came and got Avery, who was sleepy but excited and fairly sure that I was at the hospital to play in the pool and have a nice swim and slightly confused about how it was she would be getting a brother out of the whole situation. I was so grateful that she happily went with Em and that I knew I wouldn’t have to worry about her. We hugged and kissed goodbye. It was blizzarding outside now.

I changed into my gown, met my nurse, chatted with my midwife and answered lots of questions about my pregnancy…questions I felt like I had answered a thousand times already, but it still oddly sort of made me feel special. Special that I was in labor, that I was having a baby, that this was the night… our night.

I was dilated to 6 cm when we arrived. My midwife had felt my belly and said that she thought you would be on the small side because I had lots of fluid.

“I think he is going to be big.”

She told me that mom’s usually had the closest guess to how big their babies were, and that she thought we’d see soon. And we did.

After a half hour or so watching your heart beat on the monitor (your heartbeat was a tad on the slow side and not showing accelerations that they like to see), and after drinking 2 Odwalla smoothies and zapping my tummy with the buzzer, everyone was finally convinced you were OK and I got to be unhooked and get into the tub.

Sliding into the warm water felt like heaven. The weightlessness and warmth made my contractions so much easier to bear. I chatted with my midwife and nurse and dad, pausing with each contraction, and as the minutes ticked on, and the contractions got stronger, I chatted less and paused and concentrated more. And though it was painful and uncomfortable…I enjoyed that I was having this experience and that my body was doing it. And I was so grateful to be in that exact place at that exact time. I felt really happy soaking in the warm tub, in the quiet of the night, lights down low, snow falling in blankets outside.

I thought about you.

After an hour and a half in the tub the warmth of the water was getting to me and I started feeling dizzy and sick and decided to get out. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was completely dilated anyway. I was wrong. I had dilated to 7 cm.

It was a little after 6 am. My midwife asked if I would like her to break my water. I knew that it would speed things up and I agreed. I soon sort of wished that I hadn’t.

Once my water was broken I felt the discomfort of labor more intensely. The weight of my belly made it hard to find a position that felt…I’m not going to say comfortable here–that would be unrealistic…but manageable. I absolutely could not lay on my back or side. I finally settled on kneeling against the head of my bed, which was inclined up all the way. My contractions were coming so fast that I almost had no break in between them and I tried to concentrate and stay calm and relaxed but it was hard. I knew this was all normal. I knew I was in transition. And it hurt really bad.

I went from 7-10 cms. in a few contractions. Dad was at the head of my bed, holding my hand. I knew that there were other people around me and that they were saying things and doing things but I started feeling so much pain I just couldn’t focus on anything except how much it hurt. For the first time during labor I felt a little scared. My midwife said I could push a little if I felt like I needed to. I didn’t. Nothing felt right. Everything hurt and felt wrong. Pushing hurt–not pushing hurt. I held dad’s hand and thought about you and how happy I was going to be when I got to meet you. I just thought of you and told myself I could do it, that I was meant to do it, and I did it. I pushed through some pretty wicked pain. And then somehow the pain subsided, and the overwhelming urge to push took over. Its all a little blurry–this part of your birth–Dad was asking me if I was OK? and telling me I was doing it! and Good Job! My eyes were closed and I was putting every ounce of energy I had into getting you down and out. It was all very fast. After just a few pushes I heard exclamations that your head was there…and how much hair you had. You were really coming! This was really it. I thought I’d take a little brake for a few seconds and try to take in this moment–let you be born peacefully. And then I heard the midwife say that your umbilical cord was around your neck and that it was too tight and she couldn’t get it off and that I needed to push you out now. And suddenly I didn’t notice the pain anymore and I just pushed as big as I could to get you out so you’d be OK.

And you were. My beautiful boy. Absolutely perfect.

8 lbs, 15 oz.
22.5 inches!

As soon as I saw you I knew you were ours.

You were placed on my tummy and looked up with your sweet little eyes, quiet and calm. I held you in warm blankets against my skin and dad cut your umbilical cord.

Soon, you would meet your sister, who loved you already and was so excited for your arrival.
Soon, we’d take you home and get back to the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
Soon, we’d give you a name and introduce you to the world.

But right then, we snuggled and loved you while you nursed and were so happy to have that time–just with you, our sweet little son.

Today we have the peerless Aubry of Maypole Handlettered sharing her five picks for the artist in all of us.

1. Because my art comes with me everywhere I go: waxed canvas bag from Schoolhouse Electric

2. Happy mail is the best mail: paper tape from Pi Pa Pur

3. Fun art for bigs and littles: Art Doodle Love: A Journal of Self-Discovery

4. Because who doesn’t love a little uniform with pockets: pinafore smock from Pamelatang

5. To hold my most important tools: pencil case from Kawaii Stationery

photo by Matt Thorup

Thanks to Carla Thorup for sharing her story:

We’d been asleep for a few hours when I suddenly awoke in a puddle at 2:45 a.m. on July 28th. I thought I had peed my pants and in my sleepy, dazed state I said, “Matt, I can’t stop peeing.” He mumbled, “Go to the bathroom then.”  I replied a little louder in a whiny voice, “Maaatt, I CAN’T stop peeing!” I was really upset because I thought I was dreaming about going to the bathroom and then suddenly lost all control of my bladder muscles. A pregnant woman crazy-dream brain in full force.

Matt got out of bed and helped me waddle to the bathroom, uncontrollably dripping all the way. It still hadn’t clicked. I sat down and said “WHY am I so wet?!“   I looked up to see Matt’s eyes wide and a little panicked. “DID MY WATER JUST BREAK??!”

And that is how Ezekiel’s birth story begins.

Click through to read the rest.

I was 37 weeks and we were not quite expecting his arrival this soon.

After we realized that it was indeed the breaking of the water, we got really nervous and I cried a little, then we went into excited baby mode. He was coming! Holy hell he was coming! Our baby!

I cleaned myself up and wrote a list for Matt to head to Wal-mart to pick up a few things for the hospital bag (like baby onesies, you know… for our baby!) I also told him to pick up Windex because it was really important that we cleaned the bathroom mirror before we left. I just couldn’t comprehend having a dirty mirror when coming home from the hospital! Matt went and picked up supplies, including a sweet baby blanket and a bouquet of flowers that he called “water breaking flowers.” So sweet.

We started some laundry, prepped the hospital bag, and then laid down around 4:30 to try to rest up for the festivities ahead. I didn’t feel like it was urgent to get to the hospital because my water was clear, and I figured we’d go once the party actually got started. We both were able to fall asleep for a bit, and around 7 a.m. I called the midwife’s office to let them know what had happened. She suggested we come into the clinic to make sure all was on track. Contractions hadn’t started yet and I could still feel baby boy moving about. We packed the car and headed downtown to the hospital, stopping at Einstein’s Bagels where I scarfed a sausage sandwich and a blueberry bagel. If I could have seen into the future, I would have eaten more!

We checked into the hospital around 11 a.m., and the midwife said we could try to get things going without intervention, but I was only at 2 cm and wasn’t actually actively laboring yet.  We walked and walked and walked the halls while simultaneously begging for labor to start, but by 3 p.m. it had been 12 hours since the rupture and no active labor. Bummer.  Matt and I had prepped with a Hypnobirthing class and really wanted things to go naturally if possible, but knew we would have to go with the flow to get him here safely, so with the flow we went.

We started pitocin and labored with steady contractions until around 9 pm. Matt and my mom were really supportive and awesome the whole time, gotta give that shout-out! And David and Carole and my dad stopped by to keep morale up. Unfortunately, after 6 hours I was only at 4 cm. Second bummer. I hadn’t eaten for nearly 12 hours and knew I wouldn’t have any energy or strength to meet my son if I didn’t get pain meds to help get him here, so I opted for an epidural. Getting an epidural while also experiencing contractions every 3 minutes… ouch.  Good thing the doc was a sweetheart. Thanks Greg!

I was not a fan of the epidural. Yes, it totally took away the pain of contractions, but holy smokes I hate being numb. Gah. Not awesome. And it gave me the shakes & made me fairly sick. Then EZ’s heart rate immediately decreased from 150 to 70 when I laid down to get checked, and even though I was at 7 cm by 11 p.m. that night, baby boy wasn’t doing so hot. If I moved, his heart rate would drop. If we upped the pitocin to kick up the contractions, his heart rate would drop. He also hadn’t moved very low in the birthing canal, and if we could get to 10 cm we’d have to use forceps. My midwife brought in the on call doctor to assess the situation, and that was the first time a C-section was mentioned. Forceps? C-section? These were possibilities that we hadn’t even considered because we’d been focused on things going smoothly. At one point we had 3 doctors and 2 nurses all talking medical jargon about me and my son, and I had my mom push everyone out of the room so I could just cry.  Matt held my hand and we just took a moment to wrap our heads around the situation and just cry it out.  The excitement & fun from the previous water-breaking-in-bed morning was dwindling, and I just wanted it to come back. Or at least let go of all the fear so we could focus on getting our baby boy here, all expectations aside. They had to monitor EZ very closely, and at one point had to give me a shot to stop contractions in order to allow him to recover his heart rate. Stop contractions? Not helpful when we’re trying to have a baby.

I was at 8 cm by about 1 a.m. on the 29th, but had to stay sitting in a completely upright position with my legs straight out – otherwise my sweet son’s heart rate would drop instantly. Third bummer.  The doctor was upbeat that we could get to 10 cm, and allowed us to try for a few more hours. It was exhausting and very emotional, and thankfully Matt kept me calm (and laughing) while my mom kept us both sane. And at least EZ would always recover after his heart rate dropped, because it did multiple times over the next 4 hours.

5 a.m. arrives and it’s determined by the doc that I’m still at 8 cm, and my contractions have mostly died off. Baby boy responded negatively to pitocin, so they couldn’t give any more of that to help the process. At this point it’d been 27 hours since my water ruptured and the doctor declared it was time for a c-section. They weren’t sure why his heart rate was dropping (the most likely suggestion was severe cord compression), but it would be impossible for him to come vaginally and they didn’t want to put me or him at any more risk. It was time to have this baby.

Matt got dressed for surgery, we had a sweet moment together to say goodbye to our time as two, and then they wheeled me into surgery to make us a three. Matt held my hand the whole time until the doctor said “Stand up, Dad.” We heard Ezekiel cry out immediately and it was thrilling! I’d never been more grateful to hear a sound in my life. They rushed him off to the adjacent room and Matt followed closely behind with our camera in tow. The surgery went well, and after they pulled the placenta out they realized the umbilical cord was attached to the side instead of the middle which probably caused the water to rupture prematurely, and also caused the dips in EZ’s heart rate. The midwife and doctor both agreed that he wouldn’t have come out if they hadn’t done the c-section. Super grateful for doctors and hospitals and modern medicine.

Oh, but our sweet sweet son. He screamed so loudly until Matt started talking to him and touched his little hand. I could get glimpses into the other room and all I saw were big eyes staring intently up at his daddy. It was so incredible. He was hereand he was with his papa. Matt would rush back and forth between the rooms showing me pictures and telling me how perfect he was, and then head back to hold his son’s hand. There was never a baby more perfect. Healthy and strong and cute and just perfect. That has been our word of choice ever since.

About an hour after he was born I was able to hold & meet my boy. Oh, the feelings! He was mine and fit so perfectly on my chest that I never wanted him to leave. He calmed me and I calmed him, and we felt complete. Deep, raw love that rips your heart open and leaves you a new, better version of yourself.

Unfortunately, I didn’t do too well after surgery. Lots of shaking, and sickness, and throwing up for hours after, and I wasn’t my usual self until about 24 hours later. Matt was amazing with EZ and the nurses helped so much, but most of Friday is fuzzy. We had excited visitors come over, but no one stayed too long because I was too exhausted, and frankly so were EZ and Matt. The last 24 hours were quite traumatic and we definitely needed some time to recover.

When Saturday morning came, I finally had some food (48 hours had passed since I’d had anything real to eat), and all seemed right in the world.  I was me again, Matt was right by my side, and we had the most perfect little baby boy to stare at for hours and hours and hours.

Never before have we loved so fiercely.  I’m writing this story down so he knows how he got here, but also so he knows that I’d immediately do it all over again a million times for him. It doesn’t matter that it didn’t go to plan or that it was long & exhausting.  What matters is that he’s here. And he’s ours. Oh how I love that he’s ours.

Ezekiel Red, we love you bigger than the sky and wider than the sea. Thank you for being ours. Forever and ever and ever. And ever.

photo by Jalene Taylor

Sending all our love to the East Coast today.

[image by Annie Blake]

Well, criminally small public school budgets aside, playing with clay is fun. It’s natural and substantial and full of possibilities, and kids love it. So the other day I bought some cool black clay from Hobby Lobby and let the kids have as much as they wanted. Cheered a dreary day right up.

Parenting win.

New series! Today we have Annie (she’s an artist and also our blog editor) sending you into the weekend with five of her favorite kid products.

1<< Sweatshirt from Thumbeline (Simple and comfy with great detail.)

2<< Everybody Needs a Rock (Beautiful, beautiful illustrations.)

3<< Penguins from Noli Noli Handmade (You get to choose sleepy or awake!)

4<< Red rock suede moccs (I’m obsessed with this color!)

5<< Leggings from Penny and Tillie (You can’t go wrong with cute things on baby bums.)

Dressing little boys is getting more and more fun. My mama heart might break when they my kids are to old to have me buying their clothes. I’m loving this graphic chevron shirt from Fore Axel Hudson with these Gap pants and ebony moccs.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted a shoe horn at all, let alone as much as I want one from eatsleeplay. I mean, look at it! The craftsmanship on these leather goods is astounding. And the Brogue detailing is killer. Handmade at its finest.

Lately we’ve been eating breakfast for dinner almsot every night, is that a #fail as a mom?  I need your help though, what are your favorite breakfast recipes? Click through to see some of mine.

The Alison Show – Blueberry Breakfast Strata

Stephmodo – Blueberry Sour Cream Waffles

Say Yes to Hoboken – Dutch Baby Pancakes

You are My Fave – Crepe Cones 

I adore this video for I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, Lisa is the best.

I can’t get it to embed, but here’s the link.

The line I can’t get out of my head: “There’s no bigger answer [to success]. It’s what are you doing right now to move towards something.”